Jungle Baby

Todd and I thought that it would be fun to use a jungle theme for Evie's baby gear. That way, we can use the same gear for all of our babies, regardless of their genders. Fortunately for us, it just so happened that the same year we had Evie, a set of absolutely adorable fabric prints came out called Jungle Babies. My mom and my friend Lindsay both made several things for Evie out of this fabric, and I finally got a picture of Evie's jungle stuff all together:
Lindsay made Evie a diaper bag, car seat cover, and nursing cape, none of which are pictured. We used the diaper bag for the first three months of Evie's life, but it was getting too small for everything we needed to tote around, so we got this other cute jungle themed diaper bag from Walmart--it even has an adorable monkey embroidered on the front pocket! The car seat wouldn't fit in the picture, but it also has a cute monkey on it (remember this post?) in addition to the car seat cover Lindsay made. Finally, since I've stopped nursing, I don't use the nursing cape anymore either, but I still appreciate her generosity and will be able to use it again with Baby #2. She also made Evie several burp cloths and a blanket, all with matching polka-dot fabric on the reverse side.

My mom made several sets of cradle and crib sheets, like those shown above. She also edged a blanket for Evie made of the same animal flannel that Lindsay used to make her blanket. The wall hanging is one of two matching quilts she bought and bound; the other one is Evie's tummy time quilt. My mom also scanned some of the fabric into her computer, printed it on paper, and covered a notebook with it. The notebook is titled "Evie's Journal" and I write letters to my baby in it. Evie's two favorite things so far both come from her Nonna, too: the length of fabric that is Evie's "fuzzy blankie," and the stuffed beany giraffe that is super cute and actually matches the fabric really well. Evie loves her fuzzy stuff!

We bought this three-pack of 9 oz. bottles for $3 from Walmart, and they each have a different jungle animal on them. We bought the smaller 5 oz. version of the elephant bottle in May when we accidentally left Evie's Breastflow bottle at a family member's house. It has a smaller nipple, but I actually like it better, so I asked Todd if we could get the three-pack, since Evie is eating more and more lately. She's up to 5 oz. at a time now, and will need even more before too long. We haven't used these bottles yet, but I'm excited to have them!

The set of pajamas came from a girl I met in a college class last year. In fact, she was the first person I'd met with this fabric print; her baby boy had the same fuzzy blanket, and I mentioned how cute it was and how we'd been planning on doing a jungle theme for Evie. She didn't know where her mom had found the fabric, but at the end of the semester, she gave me this adorable set of pajamas that her son had outgrown. Evie looks so cute while wearing them--our very own Jungle Baby!

Feeding Time

Well, Evie is almost 12 lbs now, almost double what she was at birth. When she was born, she weighed 6 lbs 3 oz and then promptly lost 10% of her birth weight (that's normal). However, what wasn't normal was that when we took her to her 2 week appointment, she was still only 5 lbs 12.5 oz, so the doctor asked us to bring her in again a week later for a follow-up appointment. Not only was she still light, she had lost weight and weighed in at 5 lbs 11 oz.

I'd been nursing Evie exclusively up until then, but the doctor suggested that I might have to start supplementing with formula. This really upset me because Todd and I had both agreed that breastfeeding was the best option for our babies: giving Evie the best nutrition possible, helping me bond with her, and saving money for us. We'd gone to several classes and learned as much as we could about how best to nurse babies. Of course, knowing something in theory doesn't necessarily mean that you know it in practice.
Unfortunately, we were sabotaged in our efforts pretty much from Day One. The day after I delivered Evie, the hospital lactation ladies came to help me nurse my baby. I was still exhausted and on pain pills, and I was literally seeing double. Todd was dozing on the pull-out couch. I tried really hard to concentrate, but I couldn't focus my eyes. The older lady would tell me how to hold Evie's head and how to angle my arm, etc. and then instead of helping me do it myself so I could actually learn, she did everything herself, all the time telling herself "Good job." Even when I managed to focus long enough to attempt it on my own, her hands were always in the way. I got really frustrated, but didn't know what to do. As if that wasn't enough, she told me that there was no way I would physically be able to nurse my baby on my own, so she gave me two sizes of nipple shields, which would supposedly help Evie latch on.
My friend, who had a similar problem, told me that using a nipple shield could actually make a woman's milk dry up if used long-term. We went to the WIC lactation consultant and she said pretty much the same thing. She gave me a latch-assist, which was sort of a little plunger that used suction to evert nipples and make it easier for babies to latch onto their mommies, and assured me that it would work better than the nipple shield. Todd and I wondered why that hadn't come up as an option while we were in the hospital. The tiny latch-assist was probably cheaper than the two nipple shields I was given, and would have been much more helpful at the outset. I tried nursing Evie naturally, and she seemed to be getting more food than before, but then she hurt me badly--a wound that took months to heal. That's when we went to the doctor and found out she was still losing weight. I assured him that I would do everything I could to make sure Evie was getting enough food, and that we'd already borrowed a hospital-grade pump from WIC.
I held on for another couple of days, but then my finals hit. I didn't have the time to pump as often as I needed to, and still study. Finally, Todd offered to give her a bottle of the pre-mixed formula sample we'd been given. I said yes, and cried brokenheartedly while he fed it to her. I couldn't even look at her because she didn't seem like my baby anymore: "You are what you eat," and until that point, she'd only eaten from/of me; once she ate something foreign, she seemed foreign. When I was finally able to hold her again, all I could do was apologize for failing her. Her breath, which had always been sweet and milky, smelled...wrong, and I just cried.
Todd and I tried everything we could, but I just couldn't seem to overcome my inertia. Once we gave her formula, my brain shifted into thinking that she didn't need me anymore. I pumped, but it didn't seem as important as before. We bought a Breastflow bottle to teach Evie to nurse, hoping she could learn fast enough to get back onto a Mommy-only diet, but my body couldn't keep up with her appetite. It didn't help that we were traveling to visit our family in different places and everyone wanted to feed the baby. Sadly, they wouldn't give her the bottle the way we told them to, so she would get food with practically no effort, which was counter-productive. Of course, everyone felt the urge to lecture me on the benefits of breastfeeding, which just made me feel worse. I was still injured, and nursing Evie hurt a lot.
Finally, one day, we flipped a switch. Evie magically learned how to latch on to me without hurting me, and seemed to be swallowing quite a bit. I hoped against hope that everything would finally work out, but the damage had been done. My supply was dropping, despite everything I was doing. I even earned my personal pump from WIC (if you held on for 6 weeks, and promised to never accept formula for that child from WIC, they'd give you your very own, brand-new NICE pump to keep!) and tried to keep up with Evie, but my body was 2 months behind and would never catch up.
I doggedly kept at the nursing, giving her what I could and giving her formula for the rest, but what I managed to give her wasn't enough to really make a dent in how much formula we were giving her. Really, she was just using me for a pacifier and falling asleep. Finally, last week I gave up. She was only getting drops from me anyway, and I DID manage to hold on for 4 months. I know it isn't the ideal 6-12 months, but I tried my best for my little girl. My best just didn't cut it.
At least now we know where we went wrong, and we can do it better next time. We've learned from our experiences with Evie, and I'll hopefully be better able to nurse my next baby the way I so desperately wanted to with her. And it's not like this has irrevocably damaged her, either: both Todd and I were formula-fed babies, and we turned out just fine! So will she because she has a Mommy and a Daddy who love her and will do everything they can to take care of her. She's a healthy little baby--a little on the small side, but that's to be expected with little people like Todd and me as her parents--and she has adorably kissable chubby cheeks. She's even learning how to hold her own bottle now! :D

Today...

Today is kind of a big deal in our family. My dad turns 47 today--happy birthday, Daddy! Last year for his birthday, we announced that he was going to be a grandfather. That's right; one year ago today, Todd and I found out we were going to have a baby! Now, on the anniversary of that event, Evie is here: healthy, beautiful, and absolutely worth the wait. We don't have another big announcement this year, but we do have a smaller one worthy of celebration; Evie is four months old today!!

She's definitely growing up! She learns new things all the time and gets just bigger and bigger. And one thing Evie's learning is how to be a little flirt: everywhere we go, she smiles at the people around her and chats with them, trying to make friends with them. Everyone comments on how cute she is, which just makes her smile bigger. And that smile is contagious; anyone who sees it can't help but automatically smile back. We went to the DMV today to get a Colorado driver's license for me, and the ladies sitting next to us thought Evie was adorable when she tried to make friends with them. And the lady who put my information together commented on her bright eyes and said she was a cutie-patootie. :D

Evie is also teaching us along the way. I'm finally learning the difference between her hungry cry and her tired cry. And when she's cranky from being tired, I try to comfort her and let her know that it's okay to take naps and get sleep. I know that she's desperately afraid of missing anything interesting, but I keep holding her and telling her that sleep will help her brain and body get even stronger and healthier. We have that little pep talk almost every time I try putting her down for a nap, but it seems to calm her down to have me talking to her, so I don't mind. I think she's starting to understand that naps make her happier when she wakes up, and that it's okay to sleep sometimes during the day.

She is so cute when she wakes up from sleeping; she's always so cheerful and silly. The littlest things light up her world, and she stays perky for well over a half hour. Todd usually gets up at 6:30 am to feed Evie and then she dozes for a little while. At about 8, Todd brings her in to me while I'm still in bed, and we have our silly Mommy/Baby time. I tickle her, and hold her up in the air above my head. I walk her up and down my belly and onto my face. I make funny faces to make her smile. The entire time, I talk to her about how beautiful she is, and how happy I am to be her Mommy. She grins hugely and talks back to me in her sweet, high little voice about whatever makes her happy. This lasts anywhere from a half-hour to an entire hour, but at about 9, Evie gets hungry again, so I nurse her, and then hand her to Todd so he can feed her a bottle while I get in the shower. She's happy when she wakes up from naps too, but not for as long as in the morning. I have to say, I look forward to that special time I get to spend with my little girl every day. I had that today, and I'm excited to have it again tomorrow. And every day for the next four months! Happy Four-Monthiversary, Sweetie-Evie!

Little Chatterbox

On Monday night, Todd and I went with Margot and John to my first major league baseball game: Colorado Rockies vs. Atlanta Braves. It was great! Todd dropped Evie at his parents' house for the evening, but I realized just after he left that I forgot to hug her or tell her goodbye. The whole time we were gone, part of me was hyper aware that my daughter wasn't with me and I missed her terribly.

For the past two days since, though, Evie has been super happy and chatty. It's as if she's been telling us all about what happened at Grandma's house while we were gone, and letting us know that she missed us and is happy to be with us again. She still squeaks her excited squeals like she usually does, but yesterday she laughed--really laughed--twice! She looks at us intently and chatters away, telling us all sorts of silly little-girl stories and jokes. Evie has also started screeching the same way she usually does when she's upset--except that she hasn't been upset. We've been hearing all kinds of new noises emerging from our little girl lately.

When Evie is upset, I can sometimes wheedle her out of her bad mood by mimicing her whimpers and grunts. She'll look at me all startled, and then start smiling. Yesterday morning, she started whining, and I imitated her. She grinned and then she started imitating me, and we just grunted back and forth at each other for a while, smiling the whole time. It was actually really fun.

Just an hour or so ago, we tried putting Evie down for a nap, but she wants to be up playing, so I had to go pick her up when she started fussing. I hummed to her, but instead of settling down, she started talking to herself. She was using inflections, emphases, cadences, different sounds, everything. It sounded like a real language, and if I'd only known the words, I could have talked with her. This was new for me, and was kind of exciting! She's also been discovering her toes recently. She'll kind of croon to herself while gripping them with her left hand and then look up and, when she sees me watching her, she'll crack a huge smile and start talking to me again. Granted, it sometimes sounds funny because her right hand is always in her mouth anymore. But, garbled or not, our little sweetie is definitely turning into a little chatterbox--just like her Mommy. :D

What's in a Name?

My baby's name is Evangeline Rae Jacobs. For right now, since her name is longer than she is, we call her Evie. We think it's a beautiful name, but it surprises me how often people will ask if I got it from the Disney movie The Princess and the Frog. The answer is NO. Or they'll ask if I got it from the Nanny McPhee movie. Also NO. Come on, people--I'm not going to name my child after a Disney movie! I want to explain where Evie's name does come from, and why we chose it, because each part of it means something special to me.

Evangeline is a gorgeous name of elegance and sophistication for when she's an adult, and can be shortened to the cute bouncy name Evie while she's still cute and little.

It is actually the name of a poem by Henry W. Longfellow. I grew up playing the game Authors, which is like Go Fish, except with 4 real "books" that you collect from each author. When Todd and I got married, I already had several names picked out for my children. I wanted them to be four syllables, begin with a vowel, and contain an "exotic" letter: Alexander, Elizabeth, Olivia, etc. However, Todd already had a nephew named Alexander, and he hated the name Olivia. That left me only Elizabeth, which isn't a pattern all by itself. Then, I remembered the name Evangeline that I'd spent my entire childhood hearing, and I thought it was beautiful. Sadly, the movie The Princess and the Frog came out after I'd picked out my baby's name but before I actually had her. I still haven't read Longfellow's poem, but it is on my list for this summer.

Ev-, the first part of Evie's name, is a salute to Mother Eve. This past year, I've learned so much about her, and have come to really respect and love who she is. I'm also beginning to relate to her a little bit, and I feel that the best way to honor her is to name my beloved daughter after her, at least in part.

-angel-, the middle part, is how I feel about my little girl: she is an angel straight from Heaven. She brings such peace and joy to my heart. Because of her sweet spirit, I can't help but know that God lives and that he loves me enough to trust me with the special gift of being her Mommy.

-ine, the last part of her name, is a diminutive, used to convey both a smallness of and affection for the person. And I certainly feel great affection for her small self!

Rae hints at sunshine and cheer. In fact, I refer to Evie as my little Rae of Sunshine and sing sunny songs to her like You Are my Sunshine, and My Girl. Her little smile is a beam of pure light into my heart, and it warms me more than the real sun does.

That name took longer to find. We wanted something short to go with her long first name, but nothing seemed to work. I tried Belle, but Todd thought that it sounded snooty. Finally, after months of fruitless searching, I was browsing on Facebook, and came across the name of a good friend of mine from when I was in middle school and early high school: Camie Rae Lott. I put the whole name together, and it sounded pretty good to me. I suggested it to Todd, and he really liked it too.

Jacobs is our last name, a name given to us by my sweet husband. As she grows up, Evie will be able to wear her Daddy's name and know that she always belongs to our family. And, even after she gets married and gets a new last name, she will still be our precious daughter--sealed to us for eternity.

3 Months Old!

Today, Evie is three months old! I have very mixed feelings about this: on one hand, I feel like I've known her forever, and it's hard for me to remember life when she wasn't in it. On the other hand, the time has flown by so fast that it seems like just days ago that we brought her into our family. She is constantly growing and learning new things and I'm excited about each new accomplishment, but part of my mind keeps shrieking, "Wait! Slow down! I can't keep up; I still want to hold and snuggle my tiny baby!" She still likes to snuggle, but now she also wants to get up and explore her ever-growing little world. Despite that small pang I can't quite quell, I love watching Evie grow up and become her own little self--a personality that becomes more pronounced all the time.

For instance, we've learned that Evie likes lions. We've decorated her entire "nursery" in an adorable jungle theme (post is pending) covered in lions, elephants, monkeys, giraffes, etc. One day I was rocking/burping her, and she got really interested in the miniature animals on the burp cloth. I started pointing to the different animals and saying their names for her, but she was most interested in the lion and hardly gave the others a second glance. She just kept staring at the lion until she was done burping and wanted to play instead. Ever since, she's paid particular attention to the larger lions on her blankets. Also, I'm currently reading The Chronicles of Narnia to her. We started with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and when we got to the part when Aslan gets killed, she got REALLY upset. Then, as soon as he came back in the next chapter, she calmed right down again, and let me finish the story in peace. Now, I'm reading Prince Caspian, and she hasn't seemed too interested for the majority of the book so far, but we're getting to the part when Aslan shows up, and she's been perking up a little more. Last of all, when we were visiting Colorado last month, Todd and I went to dinner with Margot and John, leaving the baby with Todd's other sister, Jenette. While she was there, she seemed really fascinated by a red and black toy lion rattle that belongs to Jenette's little girl, Julia. In a gesture of touching generosity, Julia gave Evie the toy to keep, and it still helps calm her down when she gets a little cranky.

Another thing that NEVER fails to cheer Evie up is the song "I've Been Working on the Railroad." I don't know why, but if I start singing it, she'll calm down until the end of the song. If she's still grumpy enough, she'll start crying again once the song is done, but not if I start it over. We have no idea why she loves that song so much; I didn't sing it at all while I was pregnant or even in the hospital. I just started singing songs out of the Reader's Digest Children's Songbook one night when she was a couple of weeks old, and that song did the trick. Lately, I've started singing "Rubber Ducky" to her during bathtime and she thinks it's funny when Mommy quacks like a ducky. She also thinks it's funny when I say the word "booty" while I'm changing her diaper, especially if I use the phrase, "Your booty is ewww!"

Recently, I've discovered that Evie loves her fuzzy blankie. She didn't show much interest in it until a couple of weeks ago, but now it has become our own private game. She likes it when I cover her face with it and then flip it off really quickly, similar to peek-a-boo, but even just stroking her cheek with the soft fabric can make her smile. When she's in the cradle and I'm out cooking or something, she loves it when I pile the blanket all on top of her tummy so she can kick it off for a while before I have to come back in and pile it on top of her again. That way, she can also grab the edges of it and bring it to her mouth so she can suck/chew on it, which she thinks is lots of fun.

Speaking of her cradle, she's learning to sleep in it without much complaint, and has even started sleeping through the night. And when she wakes up, she's all smiles. Evie is turning out to be a morning person, which she did NOT get from me. But even I, when confronted by an adorably grinning baby, can't help but admit that mornings have their perks. One morning in particular, I heard little babbling noises as Evie talked to herself. When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a pair of dark eyes lined up perfectly with the bars of her cradle, and those eyes immediately crinkled into a huge grin. She spent the next ten or fifteen minutes smiling at me and telling me little jokes and stories before deciding that she was hungry.

It is fairly gratifying for both Todd and me that Evie is able to recognize us now, even when being held by someone else, and to prefer us over everyone else. She knows who her Mommy and Daddy are and is able to follow us with her eyes now, even across the room. We can usually get her to smile at us, too, when nobody else can. Sometimes she's a Daddy's girl, and sometimes she wants Mommy, but very rarely does she want anyone else. Although a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my mom on the phone, and I put the phone to Evie's ear so she could hear her Nonna's voice. At first, she looked really confused and turned her head to see where the noise was coming from. But then she started smiling as her Nonna told her how much she was loved. She also sometimes smiles at herself in videos and pictures, but mirrors disturb her, I discovered yesterday.

Just a week or so ago, Evie learned to roll over. Todd was doing the dishes and I was playing with her, but I put her on her tummy so I could go to the bathroom. When I got back, she was on her back. I got the camera and put her back on her tummy. After a couple of minutes, she rolled over again, and I was able to catch the moment on camera! A few days later, she did it again for Todd. She's been having trouble the past couple of days, but I know she'll eventually remember how to do it again.

Evie is such a smart little girl, and she's learning so fast that it seems like she's doing something new every time I turn around. It's hard for me to keep track of everything, so I probably forgot some of the cute things she does lately, but I do know that it's fun to watch her becoming her own little person and figuring out what she likes. She always has her eyes wide open, soaking everything in. Just in the past three months she's learned so much, and she's taught me some important things too. And as she grows, so does our love for her!

Crafty Mommy?

Lately, I've been trying to be crafty and creative (despite being wholly out of my depth) because I want to do everything "right" with Evie. I've been trying my hand at several different things for her, and have become a "Jack-of-all-trades, master of none" type person. Next week, when I visit my mom in Idaho, we're going to work on a baby book for Evie, and I hope that turns out well. But here are my attempts at creativity thus far:

First of all, I got this cross-stitch pattern for my 16th birthday, but I mostly only worked on it during General Conferences, to keep my eyes and hands busy. When we found out we were expecting Evie, I decided I'd better get cracking on it, because I wanted to get it done before the baby came. I went from only having Noah and part of the sea serpents done, to finishing it all in about 9 months. I was a month late, but that was because I couldn't find the gray Wisper thread I needed for the second Yeti. However, it is now completely finished, and I just need to wash it, mount it, and frame it. Hooray!


Next, we have Todd's Father's Day presents. Since we're moving in just over two weeks (and we'll both be gone for at least half of that), I gave him his presents today so that he could at least look at them for a couple of days before packing/moving them. One thing he got was a framed picture of Evie. When we were in Colorado, his sister Jenette took me to get pictures taken of the baby. We got multiple sizes of this picture, which was our favorite, all for $10, and the Father's Day card picture was a promotional freebie. Then I took a salt-dough cast of Evie's two month-sized hand so that he can forever remember how little her hands are! The paint kind of warped the cast, but oh well.


For his card, I rediscovered my computer's Paint program, and had fun making this picture of our family. Then, on the inside, I held Evie's hand and "helped" her sign her name on Daddy's card. On the top, I put crayons in her hands and let her scribble with them to make her own picture for Daddy. She's still not coordinated enough to actually grasp the crayons yet, but it was fun! I've been so excited for weeks to give Todd his Father's Day presents, and he loved them!

Yesterday, I played in my Paint program again, and drew this picture of Evie. I'm obviously no artist, so I'm both impressed by how it turned out, as well as a little depressed. Apparently, my program was set to save my pictures as Jpeg files, which compressed them and made them fuzzy, but I'm too discouraged to do the whole thing over, so it shall remain a floating head forever.

Last of all, in my Creative Writing class last semester, we had to write a couple of poems, and one form we tried was the villanelle. That format is HARD!! My initial attempt was about chocolate, and somehow it ended up being about rage and murder. Todd was shocked: he kept saying, "Wait. YOU, a WOMAN, wrote a poem about CHOCOLATE, and it ended up being depressing? How did that happen?!" No idea. But everyone else's poems were depressing too, so maybe the format just lends itself to depressing poetry. However, in the middle of the night, I had two lines running through my head. The syllable count was right, so I had to get up at 2 in the morning to write it down before I lost it. I guess that my love for my (at that point, still unborn) baby saved this poem from being depressing. After she was born, I had to tweak it slightly so that it fit her better, but this is my finished product:

Precious Baby
Smoky brown eyes and a cute button nose:
That nose is all mine, but she's got Daddy's chin.
Ten little fingers and ten little toes

Ever increasing, my love for her flows;
I ask myself daily, "What did I do to win
Those smoky brown eyes and a cute button nose?"

Fingers curled 'round mine as she drifts in a doze,
Feet kick at the blanket she's wrapped snugly in:
Ten little fingers and ten little toes.

Her fluffy dark hair is just begging for bows
And I melt at the sight of her toothless grin,
Smoky brown eyes, and a cute button nose.

It's quicker than lightning, the rate that she grows
Her elbows, her belly, her head, knees, and shins,
Ten little fingers, and ten little toes.

Her own baby's the cutest, every new mother knows.
But mine is so perfect it is almost a sin--
With smoky brown eyes and a cute button nose,
Ten little fingers, and ten little toes.