Favorites

I have a small confession: When I was pregnant with Ella, I was worried that I'd secretly favor one child over the other. I thought, since I've known Evie longer and Ella is a relative stranger, that I'd unconsciously prefer Evie over her little sister. Or I thought, since Ella is littler and needs more care and attention, that I'd unconsciously focus more on her and basically ignore Evie altogether. Either way, I was worried about favoritism, and I would lie awake at night, haunted by the thought that I might love one of my children more than the other.

Then Elizabeth was born. Sure, the first few weeks were strange as we adjusted to having a new little person in our family. But now, several months later, I've come to a new and wonderful realization: I don't have a favorite! Don't get me wrong, my babies are not clones of one another; they're actually very different people, and that difference is what is so liberating. I love each girl differently than I love her sister, but not less. I love the very differences that make each girl unique. Evie looks like a mini-me of her daddy, but she acts more like me. Ella has my same coloring, but she acts just like her daddy. Evie is more bouncy; Ella is more calm. But they're both my babies, and each one has a part of me in her somewhere. Plus, I cheat just a little bit: I still tell each girl that she's my favorite, but not in a way that would make the other jealous. I tell Evie that she's my favorite brown-eyed baby girl, and I tell Elizabeth that she's my favorite blue-eyed baby girl. And the two of them together are my absolute favorite babies in the whole world!