To the current tenant of my uterus: this notice is
to remind you that your lease is up in three weeks without option to renew. The
battered internal organs neighboring you have issued a petition for your
immediate eviction and, should you choose to overstay the terms of your
occupancy, I will be forced to act on their behalf. You do, however, now have
the opportunity to depart the premises of your own volition at any time with no
hard feelings. In fact, the event will be met with much celebration. Your bags
are all packed, and we eagerly await your response. Sincerely, Mommy
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